Summer Begins!

--> The past few days I've moved out of the dorm and into the apartment. I love the apartment. I love being away from home, I love being able to do whatever I want. I mean at the dorm I could do whatever I wanted but my roommate was always there, there's no one here to bug me. I mean my roommate now, Jacki*, is out of town so it might be different when she comes back. I still love it though.

--> Last night, I went out with some friends to celebrate getting exams over with and whatnot. We pregamed in their room and then got a limo taxi to go out. While there I texted my "friend" Marcus* and told him he should come with us. (Marcus* and me had a little thing thing a while back, never dated, never thought about it but you know what I mean. We still keep contact.) After he got there he came and gave me a hug, then left to go get a drink. He was gone for a while til I went to find him. When I went up to him he told me that his ex girlfriend was here and that he didn't want to start any drama, hinting to me that I needed to leave. I was kinda pissed off. When we left, I figured I would try to go say bye, he brought up the ex girlfriend thing again, and I told him I just wanted to say bye and asked if he could walk me to the door. He started to walk with me then disappeared and I saw him again before we actually left. What an asshole, like really, you're going to come to the club because I invited you and then not hang out with me even a little bit? Idc how much of a hissy fit you're ex is having.

--> I had talked to Brendan* before I went out. He still always brings up the whole incident about him sleeping with that girl. I'm not sure why, because I haven't said anymore about it, I'm not even being a bitch about it, but he keeps bringing it up like soooo.....It's so annoying. Like we're not together, won't be for a while if ever so you do what you do, and I'll do what I do. He got kind of annoyed that I was going out. As soon as I mentioned it he got an attitude and got off the phone. I'm sorry but you are not going to control my life. Tonight he brought up the whole sleeping with her thing AGAIN, saying that he might sleep with someone else, is that ok. What he said was "I think we need a break." I was like a break from what? we're not dating." I don't really care to be honest because I've had it with him for right now. I told him, "that's fine, fuck who you want I'll fuck who I want". Not to say that I am going to go around and fuck a bunch of random dudes cuz I'm not, I just knew that he'd have some sort of reaction to that. He of course said he doesn't want me to sleep with anyone else, and me, trying to make a point that that is not fair to me told him he can't control me like that because we're not in a relationship. He is just becoming to much drama for me. When there is an issue, I talk to him about how I feel and it's over with. He keeps bringing it up, why is he still having issues? I have determined that I need a break from him for a few days, he doesn't say I miss you anymore, so I'm going to see if he really does miss me.

--> Oh, and I haven't heard from Juan* in the past few days. Whatever, fuck him. I don't need to be talking to be talking to him anyways. I wish that whole Juan* phase never happened. In a way it did make me stronger, yes it was a mistake but it made me see that I need to do some things differently from now on, like find a BETTER guy. I'm also way more honest with people, I am not afraid to tell them how I feel, b/c I know that finding out you were lied to sucks ass. But it's also changed me a lot. I am way more closed off about my feelings now. If something that really upsets me happens, I used to vent about it to someone, now, I will very rarely ever share it. Except to this anyways. I just don't like talking I guess.

--> Luckily, I got to get away from my guy problems today and spent the day at the mall with the girls. Lauren* and Taylor*, I haven't gotten to see them in forever. We spent FOREVER in the mall but it didn't even matter. We laughed at anything and everything and I'm pretty sure saw every inch of that mall.